Sunday, November 9, 2008

Road Trip

Remember way back when traveling with mom and dad across the country in one of our many piece of shit vehicles, ie the VW Bus with the flying luggage, the reverse only mercedes, that jamming hot rambler (mom can correct me if I got any of them wrong, but I was little and we tend to block out horrifying experiences). And how can we forget the lines of common sense from dad, "the human body can go three days without food and water" "If you spill that in the car I'll chop off your head" (ok not exactly but close) "Just hold it" "I don't need directions" "Did he put the gas cap on" etc feel free to add your own.

Well it has come full circle for me, I took the wife and kids to NC, 500 miles one way to pick up a great dane puppy in the van with one window that is now permanently up. And so it began, 40 miles into the trip, Becca has to go bad, hold it, I can't. Pee on one of the dog pads we bought. I can't. Watch the video, but I have to go bad. Stop #1, rest stop in........NJ. Everybody out and go, this is the LAST stop until we get there. But aren't we going to eat? No the human body can go three days without food, have a chip and some warm water. But its warm. Don't you know that cold water can freeze your blood and cause a heart attack (thanks Rob) I'm just looking out for you. Off we go, the GPS is set, we are flying now. Missed a turn, recalculate the GPS and we end up on 17. 17 is a long road, with lots of traffic lights and I'm pretty sure I saw people playing banjos and guitars on the side of the road. 150 miles in we stop, I gotta go, but I tell the kids we are switching drivers. The rest stop has stainless steel toilets, I'm thinking prison movie. A hasty escape, back on the road, are we there yet, Shutup, we have 6 more hours. The Cars movie is begining for the second time, KKKKKAAAACHOW. 300 miles in, crayon fights shes hoggin the crayons, not the Cars movie again, switch it to CHOMPS the robot dog, Billy crys himself to sleep. Driver switch after a stop at Subway and of course Mc D for Billy and Becca. Off we go, 20 more to go. Now the roads are very dark, and the banjos are getting louder. Finally see a sign for Jacksonville and make it to a Holiday Inn Express right down the street from the Piggly Wiggly. The place was full of marines, I forgot it was down the street from Camp Bean Leguine. Finally in bed, sleeping, until 3am a ruckus, f-words, laughing, doors slamming, must be those marines. Out of bed, a great breakfast, really a nice spread, to the desk to checkout, how was your stay, well it was great except for that 3am thing, well we are sorry sir, as she looks at my 4 tired kids and gives us half off the 90 dollar room. I love the Holiday Inn.

2.5 miles to the breeder, just a regular house in the neighborhood, but....5 Danes and 9 puppies makes for a busy place, not smelly, clean and very nice folks who obviously love their dogs. Kathi would be in heaven.

Took possession of Toby, 7 weeks old 11 lbs. Met his pop, Master T 160 lbs, and momma Pulska, who wasn't much interested in anyone especially Billy.

500 miles to go home, now with a dog that everybody wants to hold, and the dog just wants to sleep. The dog did well, took a dump in every state on the way home. The ride home was a little worse than the ride up, the question of the day was "Are we in Delaware yet"? 10pm pulled in the driveway, piled into the house, and to bed. Now I have an idea of what dad went thru.


Gigi said...

My favorite one from Dad was, "Who's driving, you or me?" any time we would ask him to stop for directions. And how many times we wanted to stay in a motel with a swimming pool but he would just keep driving till way past bed time. LOL

Sounds like a fun time. :) Cute kids, cute puppy, what more do you need?

Betty said...

Mine was "you can go 3 days without water" and "the moon is high and so am I - the stars are out and I'll be soon!"

We always had pets in the car usually dogs. Do you remember the time Louie puked down Daddy's neck?

Bubbe said...

I remember the time we got home from somewhere, and Dad went skimming across the floor on a big pile of dog crap! Poor Louie...